We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
