Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
