There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
