The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize