Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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