brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just threw up on my dentist
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
