Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
