Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
whose ass print is on the piano?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize