So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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