DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
