8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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