She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
