i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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