I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
