two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
