8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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