He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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