We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I intend to get homeless drunk
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize