I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
