If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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