I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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