How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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