It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
