I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize