bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
