her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
