Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
