and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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