She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
