I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
