this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
