Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
