about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize