I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
