On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
