just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
