I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
