hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
