i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
