Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
