Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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