Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
