Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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