anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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