Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
