Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
