Nicole vs. Life
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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