I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
