So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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