she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
