If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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