if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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