help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
