TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
