After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
