Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
