I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize