i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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