he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Too much gin, very little bucket
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
