It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize