...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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