Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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