Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
