he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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