So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
