Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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