your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Randomize