He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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