I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize