She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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