Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
