She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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