soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
