I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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