Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
