i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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