we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize