Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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