Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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